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26 September 2005 @ 02:27 pm
giving up is hard to do.....  
So i've been 'not smoking' for a week now. it's going pretty good. i've only had one ciggie since ( king size richmond ) , which a friend offered me down the pub on weds nite and it was just me and her and i thought, 'well go on then, im gonna have one sooner or later so may as well get it out the way', before going on to smoke it like a deubtante trying to look cool in front of some bit of ruff she's met, all light ginger drags and wincing before stubbing it fiercely out in the dead centre of the ash tray, thinking, ' thank fk thats over'.

There's been a couple of good tests for me. saturday night, everyone i was out with smoked and it was the sort of do i'd normally go through a 20 box at, easy. plus i've been my nans a couple of times and she's quite a heavy smoker. i've been the pub a few times too and held back, just about, whilst staring at the boxes and lighters on the table. quite helpfully and purely by chance two of my neighbours have also packed up, and a mate also, so i suppose we are in it together. its nice to know you are not only one going through it anyway.

The only annoying thing is im eating lots and lots and lots. i've devolped a taste for quiche for some reason. so the money im saving on fags i'm more than spending on food. my sense of smell has come back too ( well with a nose like mine, u'd think it had never left :/ ) and can smell ciggarete smoke from 50 yards away now.

The second day i substituted nicotine with caffeine and had TWO cups of coffee. I prob only drink ten cups of coffee in a year. It seemed to do the trick but passed on this tactic for the next day as didnt want to replace one addiction with another.

A strange little pleasure is now walking past newsagents / offies etc thinking to myself, ' last week i prob would of spent two quid odd in there '

For any non smokers, when you dont smoke you dont notice other smokers that much ( unless when their smoke is annoying you perhaps ) when you do smoke you seem to see more other people smoking. when you are packing up times's that last observation by 1000. the funny thing is they all look really ill and dont seem to be to happy, or maybe thats just the areas i hang out in. lol

Another welcome feature this time is i havent had the 'rise of the goo'. this is basically when all the crap ( tar ) that you've put in yourself works it way through your chest and comes back up as greenies with attitude. it's most charming i can assure you :/

So you might be wondering by now, how long have i been smoking?? the answer is since my mid 20s. i never smoked as a kid / youth due to playing football a lot, then just couldnt be arsed with it as i got older ( concentrate on alcohol, right? ) it was when i was working at a big factory when i was 24 where everyone smoked and a fag was something to be savoured on your breaks that i started up. plus i was drinking down the local every night after work so it was a bonus to have a fag with a pint. i've smoked on and off since then and the last time i packed up was prob a couple of years ago. Once i packed up by 'accident' as one xmas i had flu and just couldnt face a ciggie and by the time i was well again i was off them. however during this time, my body thought i was giving up so i got the 'rise of the goo' mixed in with the flu which really was double the fun :/

So again you might ask, well why are you quiting?? i'll be honest, mainly the £, the prices are ridiculous nowadays. i knew i'd have to consider it when i paid best part of £2.80 for ten besnson at one place. another worrying thing was that i had crept up from 5-6 a day to 7-8 a day then to a ten box a day, then up to a box and a half a day which meant i was forever ducking in and out of shops to get them. you get sick of handing the £ over after a while. you might say ' well buy in 20's but then you just smoke more or crash them out, plus its wounding handing over basically a fiver knowing it will be literally up in smoke hours later. Gibralter's got the right idea, under £ 8 for £200 benson or less than a quid for a 20 box. tell that to a smoker and watch their eyes....

The thing is that you miss the routine. going in to newsagents and not buying a pack with the paper, stuff like that. You realise there was some many situations you'd have one. with a cuppa in the morning, after food, one before bed ( used to love smoking in bed ), one whilst waiting to meet someone , whilst waiting for the bus, watching a dvd ( very hard when u packing up if one of the characters has one ), half time at the footy, down the pub ( HARD!!! ), one whilst chilling on sidelines of club, when you just five mins to yourself etc etc

Earlier on something happened that made me think, 'yeah im doing well' ,when we were at the cafe me and my mate sat in the non smoking section which is just plain odd!! and as far from the boundry as we could too!!!

I think i can do it no probs. im just not gona buy any and if i have the odd one here and there then so be it..... feels like a part of me has changed though and i want my old life back like matt damon in bourne identity, but its best all round i quit.

as a strange footnote; since packing up i think ive been asked more times for a light or a spare fag than in the last few years put together. i just say, ' u should of asked me last sunday ' and keep walking.

Had a go at tiding this up. yeah i know its a bit rushed. let us know what u think.
 
 
 
(Anonymous) on September 29th, 2005 11:20 am (UTC)
'ave won, ..., go on ya no ya wanna
h'mmmm, smoke etc.

p.s. we're on the web elsewhere, ..., well i am, its just your back seemingly, ..., GOOD!
http://oliclifford.50webs.com/photos.htm
(Anonymous) on September 29th, 2005 11:21 am (UTC)
its a shame none of the photos show the truth innit
coz you had several fags that night, ..., dintcha?
mattykinsthe2ndmattykinsthe2nd on September 29th, 2005 11:34 am (UTC)
Re: its a shame none of the photos show the truth innit
naughty boy aint i?? lol

good nite wont it???

cool pics too.

go next 1. l8rs.
(Anonymous) on October 18th, 2005 02:48 pm (UTC)
Re: its a shame none of the photos show the truth innit
right, ..., i'll see you at the next one indeed
in the meantime checkout this seminal strienski track
http://turquoisedays.blogspot.com/2005/09/floats-like-mogwai.html

to get it to work on the sun terminals
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4
dont move the window, just above the bottom on the left it says 'listen to the news live', click the link

answer 'realplayer wrapper' question yes

when the real player apperas press the square 'stop' button

go to the page with the download, right click the link & chose 'save target as'

accspet the default 'save as' box

the download should take about 1 min at northfield

when its complete go back to the realplayer
turn the volume slider up to about halfway
top left file
open file, the downloaded thing will be there
doubleclicj it & , ...., 'heres johnny' etc

truely great track
(Anonymous) on October 18th, 2005 02:58 pm (UTC)
Re: its a shame none of the photos show the truth innit
iforgot to mention
http://www.flashenhanced.com/gangoffour/

a stream of the new/old gang of four recordings

it plays straight on the sun terminals providing it isnt very slow
mattykinsthe2ndmattykinsthe2nd on October 18th, 2005 03:15 pm (UTC)
Re: its a shame none of the photos show the truth innit
ok, i'll give it a whirl when i get chance.

the next nite clashe's with villa- burnley, as for some reason we are playing on a tues nite instead of a weds. i'll go after though if ur up for it.

went there last nite for beccy's bday. was q good.

c u soon.
(Anonymous) on October 20th, 2005 12:21 pm (UTC)
Re: its a shame none of the photos show the truth innit
fairy snuff, ..., i'll see you there whilst you drown your sorrows after the evenings earlier events
mattykinsthe2ndmattykinsthe2nd on October 21st, 2005 03:42 pm (UTC)
Re: its a shame none of the photos show the truth innit
we should beat burnley. we owe them from last year. i'll phn u nearer the time.....
lordeclipselordeclipse on October 7th, 2005 12:50 pm (UTC)
Smoking
Read the perils of quiting smoking. Well it's only a matter of time before I stop. Weird cravings about the quiche though. But careful you don't turn into a lardyboy. Better put 'no smoking' as one of your interests eh? My word this keyboard is awful, may as well be an aquarius...
mattykinsthe2ndmattykinsthe2nd on October 8th, 2005 02:41 pm (UTC)
Re: Smoking
nice 1 sash. i thought that said, ' be careful you dont turn in to a ladyboy'. lol